How can you learn to communicate in such a way that you can melt the hearts of even the most callous people? 5 Key Principles of Effective Communication from Vanessa Van Edwards, behavioral researcher and author of The Science of Communication.
Interact with people where you don’t need to pretend
If you go to places where you feel uncomfortable, but strain your best to seem content and happy, people will feel it. When you feel great, people will feel it and take over your mood. And if you squeeze emotions out of yourself, then spoil the mood of others.
Divide event spaces into special zones
Van Edwards advises to make 3 lists: in the first, list the places where you like to be; in the second – where you do not love; in the third – neutral. Neutral places are those that you don’t particularly like, but don’t avoid either. It all depends on the environment and your mood. Having dealt with the places, try to be where you like. This will increase your chances of success in advance.
First impressions matter
It turns out that we only need a few seconds of communication to understand whether we like or dislike a person, whether we trust him or not. Experiments show that we very rarely change our first opinion about a person, even if we communicate for longer or receive more information. And at the same time, we ourselves rarely think about what impression we make during the first seconds.
The most memorable conversations happen during the “Big Conversation”
This conversation is like a roller coaster: it takes your breath away, increases your energy. How do you start a Big Conversation? First of all, this conversation requires dopamine, which creates a feeling of delight. The easiest way to please your interlocutor is to give a small present. But this is not always convenient, so you can delight with words. Start a conversation with an unexpected topic.
Become a good listener and be generous with praise
To be remembered, the author advises to become a spotlight. It means identifying and highlighting people’s strengths. Don’t confuse this with flattery or sycophancy. You just focus the conversation on what really matters.
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